Thank you so much
Hey family,
I hope this post finds you all in good health and spirits. I am doing fine. I wanted to take a minute to say thanks to you for reading. It makes me feel good to know someone is interested in what I am putting down. I was told this twice during the weekend and honestly I cried tears of joy when I was alone because on this end to me NO COMMENTS looks like NO READERS. But that is far from the truth so to Brother Jones, Adey, Brother Cheek, The Gaskins Clan and the many others who have told me to keep on doing it...I PRAISE GOD FOR YOU!
Now I had to side track for a minute from the "On the real" series because I have got to share this. As most of you know I have been lacking in the stability of finances since January 27th. How this came to be is part of the "On the real" series that I am doing but I have got to talk about the many signs and situations that have occured. I have always had a desire to have a home PC repair business since like 2000 but have never felt confident enough to really pursue it. But in the past 3-4 years I have been blessed to have connected myself with people who have not just been supporters by word but also by business. And as of lately I have had "Run your own business" spoken over me by quite a few people. I have had some people offer to help with my business planning as well as say they would rather give me the business instead of paying one of the other businesses for the service.
All of that is such a great feeling and I so appreciate it. But please allow me to get this one off my chest. Since finding out the job I was supposed to get fell through I have had to deal with some very important issues. One of the biggest is stability of income and how was that going to happen. Now some of you may argue this point but for me it is close and very personal. I am proud of my blackness and will in some small way try my best to represent it as best I can. If you know me personally you will know that next to my continued growth spiritually taking care of my family is something I take serious. I was blessed to be taught this by my grandparents but I also was taught this by my mother & father as well. My father was a NON-EXISTANT figure in my life and there are many black men who are the same as him. Either they really didn't care about the child they left behind, they made the child suffer do to a bad relationship with the mother, or they were just too afraid to man up. My mother on the other had was not prepared to be a mother and would only be a mother when it was convenient for her to be. That came when there was a man around...Hey I am just being honest. When she had to do it on her own there were more than enough broken promises or little to NO efforts made.
I can say this she doesn't even know me today. If you had to ask her about me (Sean the person) she could only tell you I am married, I have 4 children, I will do anything for them, and I am a real man in her eyes but she probably couldn't tell you that much more. So having to live through this has built in me a passion to always be better than that which I had to be exsposed to. So to be lacking a stable income for that purpose alone has had an effect on me. Now I have applied for many JOBS, gotten many confirmation e-mails that my resumes have been recieved.
Let's just use numbers for the description here: (This is not an accurate number but a guestimate. I stopped counting because they are probably much higher)
50 (Jobs applied for)
50 (Confirmation e-mails)
25 (Response calls from recruiters)
2 (Phone interviews)
5-6 (Physical interviews)
2 (calls to say I didn't get the job)
I have even called my prior manager at to talk about being reinstated in the company. After sending a letter to the president of the business unti I worked for I got a call from the HR person. But my leaving the company was presented in a manner like it was truly intentional and if I would have had enough sense to record my last meeting with the 3 superiors it didn't come off that way. As a matter of fact my old manager made a comment to me one day saying "Don't be surprised if I call you to come back". Well it is funny how I have gotten at least 5 different e-mail from temp agencies about an open position at the same place I used to work but I got no phone call from that old manager about those positions.
Now if it is one thing I have learned from working for some of the big companies is that they hate spending money. I have been in more than enough of those "Welcome to our company" meetings for new employees and they do such a great job on all of the wonderful things you could do and get if you are part of the company. But they don't want to spend on training, getting certified (unless you pay first), proper equipment to get your job done effectively, and let's not forget the biggest...RAISES unless you are down with the network. Now I have to be me for a second here because it is what I have seen.
The OLE' BOYS are afraid of a smart, hungry, passionate cat like me. My last 2nd in command was so scared of me he had to find ways to try and stop me. I have been called TOO PASSIONATE, TOO SERIOUS, NOT A TEAM PLAYER, NOT DOING MY WORK oh I could go on. I was told I was supposed to be written up for cursing the 2nd (because someone sent an email to the manager) and that never happened, I had my ID taken and was told the only way I was going to get it back was to meet with the 2nd & his boss and that never happened, I have even had people say to me the 2nd was running around telling people I hated him. Now really who was wrong? If the evidence was strong enough...
All because of what? Because I refuse to buy into the OLE' Boy network and be the dumb _______ (put whatever you want there). But here I am really concerned about being able to maintaining my responsibilities to my family and the last interview revealed to me some things that just blew my mind. I met with a recruiter who really was, has been, and actually still is going far beyond the call to assist me with this task. During our meeting she revealed something to me that was written by a previous recruiter because I had visited that particular company before. The guy was white but he seemed to be understanding about my feelings on my current situation...at least on the phone. But this current recruiter told me the prior recruiter wrote in his notes I needed coaching on my interviewing skills.
That messed me up for a minute. Now taking nothing away from the current recruiter but I have been in position of having a JOB (I was trying not to use that word...I'll explain later) and have had someone who was looking talk to me about finding a job. As a matter of fact I have had to interview someone for a position. That is not in my job description but I did it anyway. Not only did the person get the job but I was unofficially named the mentor for this person and when they messed up I caught the heat. But when she told me that I thought to myself "Why didn't he tell me?" So now I am thinking this guy wasn't going to help me, instead he would rather just not deal with my job hunting and keep that to himself.
Okay so now I am asking myself is it really meant for me to be doing this or should I really pursue my own thing? Now as I am spending days looking, applying, answering call-after-call on both my cell and home phone, revamping the resume and more. But let's be real I am not concerned about that crap I am concerned that my wife is concerned about the changes in finances (and I don't blame her for being concerned) but everytime I speak of a possible opportunity her hopes are just as lifted as mine but when you get NO response or TURNED DOWN it does bring along a sense of concern and worry. Now like me she too is wondering exactly what is it (the real story) that has these prospective employers saying "No we don't want to hire him". It can't be lack of experience because you have many years of it. So what is it.
Too black, too strong maybe. Fear of experience? Who knows. My last interview I was over the phone and they needed someone to start today. I was not interviewd by the person I was supposed to be, instead I was interviewed by someone (a oriental lady) in the same position I applied for. Now the truth be told she sounded as though she was caught off guard by this. Most of the questions she asked I know I aced. They were not hard questions. They sounded like stuff she had encountereed and had now answer of resolution for them. But I could also sense a slight hint of fear in her voice. Fear because I had experience doing some things she hadn't as of yet. One reason I knew this to be true was when I metioned ticketing systems. She refered to theirs as "Home made". Now as much as I laughed with her I also sensed she may not have been too happy with her JOB.
For the record what I do is NOT a JOB...It is my CAREER. But I find out a couple hours later I was not selected for that position. I knew it was coming before I was told. The place was in Germantown, MD and I just felt as if GOD din't want that for me. I need to take a break here for mental purposes but I got's more to come...so stay tuned.
I hope this post finds you all in good health and spirits. I am doing fine. I wanted to take a minute to say thanks to you for reading. It makes me feel good to know someone is interested in what I am putting down. I was told this twice during the weekend and honestly I cried tears of joy when I was alone because on this end to me NO COMMENTS looks like NO READERS. But that is far from the truth so to Brother Jones, Adey, Brother Cheek, The Gaskins Clan and the many others who have told me to keep on doing it...I PRAISE GOD FOR YOU!
Now I had to side track for a minute from the "On the real" series because I have got to share this. As most of you know I have been lacking in the stability of finances since January 27th. How this came to be is part of the "On the real" series that I am doing but I have got to talk about the many signs and situations that have occured. I have always had a desire to have a home PC repair business since like 2000 but have never felt confident enough to really pursue it. But in the past 3-4 years I have been blessed to have connected myself with people who have not just been supporters by word but also by business. And as of lately I have had "Run your own business" spoken over me by quite a few people. I have had some people offer to help with my business planning as well as say they would rather give me the business instead of paying one of the other businesses for the service.
All of that is such a great feeling and I so appreciate it. But please allow me to get this one off my chest. Since finding out the job I was supposed to get fell through I have had to deal with some very important issues. One of the biggest is stability of income and how was that going to happen. Now some of you may argue this point but for me it is close and very personal. I am proud of my blackness and will in some small way try my best to represent it as best I can. If you know me personally you will know that next to my continued growth spiritually taking care of my family is something I take serious. I was blessed to be taught this by my grandparents but I also was taught this by my mother & father as well. My father was a NON-EXISTANT figure in my life and there are many black men who are the same as him. Either they really didn't care about the child they left behind, they made the child suffer do to a bad relationship with the mother, or they were just too afraid to man up. My mother on the other had was not prepared to be a mother and would only be a mother when it was convenient for her to be. That came when there was a man around...Hey I am just being honest. When she had to do it on her own there were more than enough broken promises or little to NO efforts made.
I can say this she doesn't even know me today. If you had to ask her about me (Sean the person) she could only tell you I am married, I have 4 children, I will do anything for them, and I am a real man in her eyes but she probably couldn't tell you that much more. So having to live through this has built in me a passion to always be better than that which I had to be exsposed to. So to be lacking a stable income for that purpose alone has had an effect on me. Now I have applied for many JOBS, gotten many confirmation e-mails that my resumes have been recieved.
Let's just use numbers for the description here: (This is not an accurate number but a guestimate. I stopped counting because they are probably much higher)
50 (Jobs applied for)
50 (Confirmation e-mails)
25 (Response calls from recruiters)
2 (Phone interviews)
5-6 (Physical interviews)
2 (calls to say I didn't get the job)
I have even called my prior manager at to talk about being reinstated in the company. After sending a letter to the president of the business unti I worked for I got a call from the HR person. But my leaving the company was presented in a manner like it was truly intentional and if I would have had enough sense to record my last meeting with the 3 superiors it didn't come off that way. As a matter of fact my old manager made a comment to me one day saying "Don't be surprised if I call you to come back". Well it is funny how I have gotten at least 5 different e-mail from temp agencies about an open position at the same place I used to work but I got no phone call from that old manager about those positions.
Now if it is one thing I have learned from working for some of the big companies is that they hate spending money. I have been in more than enough of those "Welcome to our company" meetings for new employees and they do such a great job on all of the wonderful things you could do and get if you are part of the company. But they don't want to spend on training, getting certified (unless you pay first), proper equipment to get your job done effectively, and let's not forget the biggest...RAISES unless you are down with the network. Now I have to be me for a second here because it is what I have seen.
The OLE' BOYS are afraid of a smart, hungry, passionate cat like me. My last 2nd in command was so scared of me he had to find ways to try and stop me. I have been called TOO PASSIONATE, TOO SERIOUS, NOT A TEAM PLAYER, NOT DOING MY WORK oh I could go on. I was told I was supposed to be written up for cursing the 2nd (because someone sent an email to the manager) and that never happened, I had my ID taken and was told the only way I was going to get it back was to meet with the 2nd & his boss and that never happened, I have even had people say to me the 2nd was running around telling people I hated him. Now really who was wrong? If the evidence was strong enough...
All because of what? Because I refuse to buy into the OLE' Boy network and be the dumb _______ (put whatever you want there). But here I am really concerned about being able to maintaining my responsibilities to my family and the last interview revealed to me some things that just blew my mind. I met with a recruiter who really was, has been, and actually still is going far beyond the call to assist me with this task. During our meeting she revealed something to me that was written by a previous recruiter because I had visited that particular company before. The guy was white but he seemed to be understanding about my feelings on my current situation...at least on the phone. But this current recruiter told me the prior recruiter wrote in his notes I needed coaching on my interviewing skills.
That messed me up for a minute. Now taking nothing away from the current recruiter but I have been in position of having a JOB (I was trying not to use that word...I'll explain later) and have had someone who was looking talk to me about finding a job. As a matter of fact I have had to interview someone for a position. That is not in my job description but I did it anyway. Not only did the person get the job but I was unofficially named the mentor for this person and when they messed up I caught the heat. But when she told me that I thought to myself "Why didn't he tell me?" So now I am thinking this guy wasn't going to help me, instead he would rather just not deal with my job hunting and keep that to himself.
Okay so now I am asking myself is it really meant for me to be doing this or should I really pursue my own thing? Now as I am spending days looking, applying, answering call-after-call on both my cell and home phone, revamping the resume and more. But let's be real I am not concerned about that crap I am concerned that my wife is concerned about the changes in finances (and I don't blame her for being concerned) but everytime I speak of a possible opportunity her hopes are just as lifted as mine but when you get NO response or TURNED DOWN it does bring along a sense of concern and worry. Now like me she too is wondering exactly what is it (the real story) that has these prospective employers saying "No we don't want to hire him". It can't be lack of experience because you have many years of it. So what is it.
Too black, too strong maybe. Fear of experience? Who knows. My last interview I was over the phone and they needed someone to start today. I was not interviewd by the person I was supposed to be, instead I was interviewed by someone (a oriental lady) in the same position I applied for. Now the truth be told she sounded as though she was caught off guard by this. Most of the questions she asked I know I aced. They were not hard questions. They sounded like stuff she had encountereed and had now answer of resolution for them. But I could also sense a slight hint of fear in her voice. Fear because I had experience doing some things she hadn't as of yet. One reason I knew this to be true was when I metioned ticketing systems. She refered to theirs as "Home made". Now as much as I laughed with her I also sensed she may not have been too happy with her JOB.
For the record what I do is NOT a JOB...It is my CAREER. But I find out a couple hours later I was not selected for that position. I knew it was coming before I was told. The place was in Germantown, MD and I just felt as if GOD din't want that for me. I need to take a break here for mental purposes but I got's more to come...so stay tuned.
posted by DJ Seaniemo @ 2:36 PM
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