To my youngin's

I wanted to take a minute to talk about and show some LOVE to one of the things that really does make my life worth living...The Grow Group.

I do make it a point to talk about them every chance I get...yes even in interviews because to be a part of this is one of the greatest blessings a person could have. These young people are very gifted, very smart, and most importantly my future, our future.

Since joining (or shall I say requesting to take part in) I have learned these young people face way much more now than I could ever imagine. But they have shown they are determined to rise above it. The temtations and peer pressures they experience on a daily bases would make me crazy and I do applaud them for their commitment to do their best to maintain their integrity.

This group was founded by Ranesa Mayo a church member. And has undergone mentor and member changes since it started. Three alumni-members have gone on to college and that shows the power this group has. I co-mediate with Zakia Cummings and for me it is a great honor to be a part of it today. I am learning so much interacting with them and hearing the stories they share. But they are not the only ones that share, I also share too. And to be able to share with them my life as a teen is a powerful thing. I personally feel like I have to wear two hats because I am a parent to two of the members and there are times I have to represent the parents in the group.

There is nothing funnier than when one of the members say "How come ya'll?" and I have to respond. Now I let them know I can't speak for every parent because I am just one parent but as a parent I have some of the same wishes and desires for their success in this life and world. But when I share with them my life story it is the most powerful thing to occur in one place at one time. When I mediate I call it straight talk because technically that is what it becomes. I do this so they will feel comfortable discussing their concerns, thoughts, feelings and emotions on their lives. Even though I have been involved with a few youth groups growing up I never really communicated the most important part of what I was feeling to my peers because I was afraid they wouldn't understand and since none of them really focused on showing me how to communicate what I was feeling so I acted out and rebelled. Ultimately it did harm me in many ways.

But I thank GOD I made it through so that I could share my story with a young person who may be going through. It is a great feeling to hear them say they enjoyed the message that I gave them. Even as I am going through my own personal stuff they are part of the reason I continue to push forward. I went on another interview yesterday and to be honest I just kept thinking of my family and the group the whole time. These young people are honest with me and that alone is the greatest honor. The show me unconditional love and I so appreciate that.

The biggest thing I have learned from them is all they want is LOVE. Not that they are not getting it but as parents we do get caught up in our parental responsibilities and adult lives and at times (more than most) we tend forget they are people too. Now they my not be adults but they have feelings just like we do and one will be where we are. In our home we eat dinner together at one table and talk about our days, share concerns, and laugh a lot. My wife & I do this to help our children understand that all we want is what is best for them and I try to bring the same thing to the group. It is quite the pill to swallow (at times) when your child brings up teen issues, concerns, and activities especially if they are curious about or have indulged in but I remember there was a time I too was in their shoes one day and felt the same way they did. And when I tell them about my teen years it does bring a whole different perspective to the understanding of life. Not just as a parent, not just as an adult but as a person I want to understand why our young people are angry, I want to know what their wishes are, I want to know how they feel about themselves and life, I need to know what they need from me so they can become more poweful, positive, and productive people in this world, I want to understand the pressures they may be going through and how I can help eliminate some of them. But most importantly out of all of this I express to them the most important part of growing from child to adult...ENJOY YOUR CHILDHOOD NOW! Learn from your mistakes, GET THAT EDUCATION, respect your elders, listen to your parents and COMMUNICATE. If you don't know...ask. Never be ashamed to ask for help.

I also let them know none of us are perfect and more times than most from a parental perspective we may not respond the way they expected us to when it comes to something they may have done, said or want to do. But if we are wrong some of us (let's be truthful here) will apologize and try to help them understand why we acted that way. It is not because an explanation is required, but a better understanding is desired.

I also try to help them see as parents our demands are great and our goals are to try our best to prevent some of the hurts and pains we have experience and encountered for them so yes at time we too get caught up but know it is done out of LOVE.

Not all parents will agree with my methods but know that I would never teach a child wrong.

To my GROW GROUP,

I LOVE you all. You have given my life purpose and meaning. Each personality has been a major contribution to my growth and development. As much as I may be an adult I am still NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN!!!! And I thank you all for allowing me to be the sponge to absorb more of an understanding to the lives you live. I promise to continue being that sponge. I am always here for you whenever you need me. Thank you so much for being a very important part of my life.