From a Black Man's heart

From a Black Man's Heart

Friday, March 10, 2006

Let's be real here...

I got the following email from a friend:

White Woman's Opinion of Black Women
It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more)!!!

Dear Jamie: I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black
male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking,
educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes
about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly
approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.

If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and
snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men
about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his
wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson
Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte,
Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy
Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes. I could go on and on. But, right now,
I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with
us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together a
lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA

Now allow me to just put my 2 cents worth in here. I have dated (or shall I say screwed a couple because no REAL relationship developed from it) white woman before. I met on a bus trip back to DC from Texas and nothing ever developed because her parents were truly racist and she let it be known if they found out about us she would be cut off. The other was in Germany. I don't need to go there.



After 3 marriages and numerous relationships I feel a qualified to speak on this. But I am going to address the issues that exist between Black men & woman because I can. One of our biggest problems is "The Unknown Expectation" that occurs between black men & woman. Who doesn't dream of the house with the white picket fence? I don't because I am worth more than a white picket fence. I would like to have big tall black fences. But let's take a look at living black today.

Growing up the ratio of Black men were greater and accountable. A home without a male presence was unheard of or at least not common knowledge in most cases. Black men at that time dominated and there were times we OVER-DOMINATED. We could beat a woman into submission if she wasn't submitting but as a child the only exsposure I had to that was from a man my own mother was living with.

As I got older black men began to disappear. Most were either in Vietnam or locked up. So that left the woman to take the responsibility of both parents. I was blessed to have my grandmother & grandfather in the house. My grandfather retired to be home with my sister & I, while my grandmother worked. And ultimately black men were not standing up and representing like they should.

But here is the funny part about that statement there were black men who were actually doing their part but they were not getting the proper recognition they shouls for living past the stereo-type that we (black men) had been stuck with. Our black woman that had to run the home by themselves found independence (and trust most didn't read the whole book) and became so independant that they were not going to submit.

Not only that but the few black men that remained were not properly trained to be a man.

*SIDE NOTE* As messed up as this might sound you can compare it to a Lion and his dominance over his pride. Yes I watch Discovery Channel a lot!!! So what!!! A lion mates with every lioness in the pride and is very dominate over that pride. Sort of like today's PLAYA. (Click the word PLAYA and see what you get) who actually doesn't know he is being played for real. This guy has the run of the litter and has a major selection of woman. And trust there are many...let's see we have the "I am angry at all me because he hurt me" type, the "I don't need no man to justify me" type, the "I have done my job as a mother" type, the "one that will have sex just to get what she wants" type and I can't forget the good ole' "I have a lifestyle I need to maintain" type.

I grew up in a house full of woman and I was happier when I wasn't anywhere in the area. I have said it before...in that house was a major combination of menstral cycles and menapause so you never knew what was coming or going. But what I did know is being exsposed to the anger that black woman had for the black men that was SUPPOSED to be there was becoming a universal feeling.

To be continued.....I'm spent.